Post by raz on May 17, 2007 10:13:42 GMT
The Inland Revenue decides to audit Johnny, and summons him to an appointment
with the
most thorough auditor in the office. The auditor is not surprised when Johnny
shows up with his solicitor.
The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no
full-time employment, which you
explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the Inland
Revenue finds that believable."
"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Johnny. "How about a
demonstration?"
The auditor thinks for a moment and says, "Okay. You're on!"
Johnny says, "I'll bet you a thousand pound that I can bite my own eye."
The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet."
Johnny removes his glass eye and bites it.
The auditor's jaw drops.
Johnny says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand pound that I can bite my other
eye."
The auditor can tell Johnny isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
Johnny removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realises he has bet and lost three thousand quid,
with Johnny's solicitor as a
witness. He starts to get nervous.
"Would you like to go double or nothing?" Johnny asks. "I'll bet you six
thousand pound that I can stand on
one side of your desk and pee into that rubbish bin on the other side, and
never get a drop anywhere in between."
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and
decides there's no way Johnny can manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
Johnny stands beside the desk and unzips his trousers, but although he
strains like hell, he can't make the stream
reach the bin on other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the
auditor's desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realising that he has just turned a major loss
into a big win. But Johnny's
solicitor moans and puts his head in his hands.
"Are you okay?" the auditor asks.
"Not really," says the solicitor. "This morning, when Johnny told me he'd
been summoned for an audit, he bet
me £20,000 that he could come in here and piss all over your desk - and that
you'd be happy about it!"
Thanks to Siobhan Coughlan, for this one ![/color][/size][/i]
with the
most thorough auditor in the office. The auditor is not surprised when Johnny
shows up with his solicitor.
The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no
full-time employment, which you
explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the Inland
Revenue finds that believable."
"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Johnny. "How about a
demonstration?"
The auditor thinks for a moment and says, "Okay. You're on!"
Johnny says, "I'll bet you a thousand pound that I can bite my own eye."
The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet."
Johnny removes his glass eye and bites it.
The auditor's jaw drops.
Johnny says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand pound that I can bite my other
eye."
The auditor can tell Johnny isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
Johnny removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realises he has bet and lost three thousand quid,
with Johnny's solicitor as a
witness. He starts to get nervous.
"Would you like to go double or nothing?" Johnny asks. "I'll bet you six
thousand pound that I can stand on
one side of your desk and pee into that rubbish bin on the other side, and
never get a drop anywhere in between."
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and
decides there's no way Johnny can manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
Johnny stands beside the desk and unzips his trousers, but although he
strains like hell, he can't make the stream
reach the bin on other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the
auditor's desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realising that he has just turned a major loss
into a big win. But Johnny's
solicitor moans and puts his head in his hands.
"Are you okay?" the auditor asks.
"Not really," says the solicitor. "This morning, when Johnny told me he'd
been summoned for an audit, he bet
me £20,000 that he could come in here and piss all over your desk - and that
you'd be happy about it!"
Thanks to Siobhan Coughlan, for this one ![/color][/size][/i]