Post by bluebell007Ann on Dec 12, 2006 11:00:34 GMT
PHONE IN COMPETITION FOR LOCAL RADIO STATION
>Radio station in Ireland ran a phone - in competition to find
>the most embarrassing moment in listener's lives. The final four
>were:
>
>
>4th Place
>While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
>release some pent-up energy and started to run amuck. I was
>finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and
>annoyance from other patrons. I told him that if he didn't
>start behaving himself right now, he would be punished. To my horror,
>he looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as
>threatening, 'if you don't let me go right now, I'll tell Grandma I saw you
>kissing Daddy's willie last night'. After this enlightening
>exchange, the silence was deafening. Even the tellers stopped
>what they were doing. I mustered the last of my dignity and walked
>out of the bank, with my son in tow. The last thing I heard as
>the door shut behind me were screams of laughter.
>
>
>
>
>3rd Place
>It was the day before my 18th birthday. I was living at
>home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my
>girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed
>after making love, we heard the telephone ringing downstairs. I
>suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a piggy-back
>ride down to the phone. Since we didn't want to miss the call we
>didn't have time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of the
>stairs, the lights suddenly came on as a whole crowd of people yelled
>'SURPRISE'. My entire family - parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles,
>cousins as well as my friends, were standing there. My girlfriend and I
>were frozen on the spot in a state of shock and embarrassment
>for what seemed like an eternity. Since then, no one in my family
>has planned any surprise parties.
>
>
>2nd Place
>A lady picked up several items at a discount store.
>When she finally got to the checkout, she learned that one of the items had
>no price tag. The checkout girl got on the public address system, which
>boomed out across the store for everyone to hear, 'PRICE CHECK FOR TAMPAX
>SUPERSIZE'. But it got worse. Someone at the rear of the store
>apparently misunderstood the word 'Tampax' for the 'Thumbtacks',
>and replied in a business like tone, his voice booming over the same public
>address system: 'Do you want the kind you push
>in with your thumb or the kind you knock in with a hammer?'
>
>
>1st Place
>And the winner is . . .
>This happened at a major Irish University, during a biology lecture. A
>professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A young
>woman raised her hand and asked, 'If I understand you correctly, you are
>saying there is as much glucose in male semen as in sugar?' The professor
>responded, 'yes, that's correct', adding some statistical data to his
>lecture.
>Raising her hand again, the girl asked, 'Then why doesn't it taste sweet?'
>After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing. The poor girl
>turned bright red, and as she realised exactly what she had inadvertently
>said, she picked up her books and without another word, walked out of the
>class. However, as she was heading for the door, the professor said 'it
>doesn't taste sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of
>your tongue and not in the back of your throat.
>Radio station in Ireland ran a phone - in competition to find
>the most embarrassing moment in listener's lives. The final four
>were:
>
>
>4th Place
>While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to
>release some pent-up energy and started to run amuck. I was
>finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and
>annoyance from other patrons. I told him that if he didn't
>start behaving himself right now, he would be punished. To my horror,
>he looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as
>threatening, 'if you don't let me go right now, I'll tell Grandma I saw you
>kissing Daddy's willie last night'. After this enlightening
>exchange, the silence was deafening. Even the tellers stopped
>what they were doing. I mustered the last of my dignity and walked
>out of the bank, with my son in tow. The last thing I heard as
>the door shut behind me were screams of laughter.
>
>
>
>
>3rd Place
>It was the day before my 18th birthday. I was living at
>home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my
>girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed
>after making love, we heard the telephone ringing downstairs. I
>suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a piggy-back
>ride down to the phone. Since we didn't want to miss the call we
>didn't have time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of the
>stairs, the lights suddenly came on as a whole crowd of people yelled
>'SURPRISE'. My entire family - parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles,
>cousins as well as my friends, were standing there. My girlfriend and I
>were frozen on the spot in a state of shock and embarrassment
>for what seemed like an eternity. Since then, no one in my family
>has planned any surprise parties.
>
>
>2nd Place
>A lady picked up several items at a discount store.
>When she finally got to the checkout, she learned that one of the items had
>no price tag. The checkout girl got on the public address system, which
>boomed out across the store for everyone to hear, 'PRICE CHECK FOR TAMPAX
>SUPERSIZE'. But it got worse. Someone at the rear of the store
>apparently misunderstood the word 'Tampax' for the 'Thumbtacks',
>and replied in a business like tone, his voice booming over the same public
>address system: 'Do you want the kind you push
>in with your thumb or the kind you knock in with a hammer?'
>
>
>1st Place
>And the winner is . . .
>This happened at a major Irish University, during a biology lecture. A
>professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A young
>woman raised her hand and asked, 'If I understand you correctly, you are
>saying there is as much glucose in male semen as in sugar?' The professor
>responded, 'yes, that's correct', adding some statistical data to his
>lecture.
>Raising her hand again, the girl asked, 'Then why doesn't it taste sweet?'
>After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing. The poor girl
>turned bright red, and as she realised exactly what she had inadvertently
>said, she picked up her books and without another word, walked out of the
>class. However, as she was heading for the door, the professor said 'it
>doesn't taste sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of
>your tongue and not in the back of your throat.